This is my weekly Masquerade of Words blog topic.
This is a topic that has been particularly difficult for me to write on. Thankfully it isn’t because I have lots to regret, in fact it’s the complete opposite. Living with a chronic illness can often make it very easy to regret. The things that we haven’t done are the easiest things to regret. Especially as with the nature of chronic illness, the things we haven’t yet done turn into the things that we cannot no longer do. So looking back and thinking “why didn’t I do that when I had the chance?” can be understandable right? But then you didn’t know you was going to get ill did you? So you can’t blame yourself for it can you?
Other things we can regret are the things we did, but probably shouldn’t have. Especially the kind of things that make your pain / symptoms worse. Like that round of golf you played when you knew you shouldn’t have. Or that river in the welsh hills that you threw yourself down (hitting every rock on the way) when you went canyoning on a stag do. These are the kind of things which you can look back at and regret. I don’t though. These experiences don’t happen every week, so why not enjoy them? Yes you may feel worse than you would have after, but it’s a balancing game between comfort, and quality of life is it not?
Regret can stop us from doing these things that make life an experience, not a chore. Regret can make you think “what if”. I can’t change what’s happened already, the past is the past. Thinking about it, I don’t think I’d want to either. If things were different in the past I wouldn’t be where I am now, which is a good place. Happily Married, and soon to celebrate our first anniversary. We are also expecting our first child (a boy)!! Now what’s more exciting, or makes you happier than that? Without what I have or haven’t done in the past, then I wouldn’t be here. I struggle daily with my pain /symptoms, but right now the positives in my life outweigh the negatives. I wouldn’t dare ask for any more.
For me personally, regret isn’t something I waste too much time with. Life is a roller coaster of highs and lows, so enjoy the ride, and don’t look down ;). I’ll leave you with some words of wisdom from a much cleverer man than me:
“When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.” – Alexander Graham Bell.